What causes loneliness in academia and how to deal with it.

Academia Can Be a Lonely Place

The April 11, 2005 issue of U.S. News and World Report has an article on psychological problems in graduate students. For example, 54% of Berkeley’s graduate students experienced depression in the past year, and 10% seriously considered suicide.

Depression has multiple causes. One is loneliness, which I define as a negative feeling caused by a lack of significant connectedness to others. You can feel lonely even when you’re surrounded by others. The presence of people with whom you don’t feel connected may even intensify the loneliness.

Let’s look at what it is about academia that can lead to loneliness, beginning with graduate school.

Graduate School

You might have navigated the first years of grad school well, armed with classes and student lounges, and satisfactory relationships with peers and professors. Nevertheless, the ABD years can be quite different, especially in the humanities. Students in the sciences have their labs to go to, and thus have forced contact with others. I have heard, though, that a chemistry lab can be a pretty lonely place at 2:00 in the morning. So science types should read the following section, regardless.

The Humanities ABD

In the humanities, once the proposal is finished, you are set free to work on your chapters. From that point on, you are presumed writing unless proven otherwise. It is the rare professor that insists on weekly meetings, dispenses helpful advice, or asks to look at a rough draft consisting of a few pages. The more typical expectation is that you will leave your advisor alone until you come up with a chapter. A month or so after handing that chapter in (if you are lucky,) you will get the opportunity to go over it with her.

In the meantime, you do not have classes to regulate your day and your social life. This apparent freedom brings its own prison, since guilt about lack of productivity can cause some ABD’s to avoid others. It is easy to assume that the other students are writing more quickly than you are. A weekly dissertation group may help propel your writing, but without a concomitant push to socialize and share your concerns, it won’t mitigate the anxiety.

Loneliness: Antidotes for ABD’s

What can you do about this sense of alienation? Here are some ideas:

• If you’re not in a dissertation group that meets weekly, start one. Either talk to the peers you like or post it on the graduate student listserv. If you don’t get enough response, go outside your department to a related discipline.
• If a group doesn’t work out, find a “writing buddy.” This can be one person who you talk to on a regular basis to report your progress.
• Join an Academic Ladder phone coaching group.  We have groups for humanities, social science and science ABD's.
• Talk about the difficulties you’re having, including non-academic concerns. You will not feel connected with people who don’t know who you are. Reread that last sentence – it is key.
• Reach out to those in other institutions working on similar issues. This will help with job networking, academic inspiration, and feelings of connection.
• Go to conferences. Just this week, two clients in one of my groups went to two different conferences; despite doubts beforehand, both came back very excited about the connections they had made and the inspiration regarding their topic.
• Go to online forums or chats for graduate students to connect with others.
• Make time for your social and romantic life.

The Loneliness of the Long-Distance ABD

The circumstance of the ABD who moves away from his or her campus to complete the dissertation is worth mentioning. Having survived this myself (in 1978,) I empathasize with the many ABD’s I work with who are suffering this fate. The above suggestions will work if you find local universities, and join an ongoing dissertation group, or even start one yourself. One of my clients has accomplished this quite successfully. She also found a local faculty member to be on her committee who has taken more interest in her dissertation than her own advisor ever has.

The Lonely Professor

Being a scholar requires some periods of time alone; again, this needn’t lead to loneliness. There are, however, certain situations that could cause one to feel isolated and lonely. For example, you might be:

• The only woman in a male-dominated profession
• A minority
• From another country
• A professor with a joint appointment who doesn’t “belong” in either department
• The only single professor among a small department of married professors
• Shy

Nobody is going to rescue you from the loneliness that can occur as a result of these situations. Therefore it is up to you to take a proactive step if you are feeling lonely. Here are some suggestions:

• Don’t exclude yourself by making assumptions about how others in your department feel about you – go to that cocktail party and act as if you belong, and you will be taking a big step towards actually belonging.
• Get to know others that are in your particular situation outside your department.
• Form informal discussion groups, writing groups or even dinner groups with people inside and outside of your department.
• If you are shy, take some steps outside your comfort zone. You will feel less lonely, and be more successful in academia, if you become comfortable socializing.
• If you are truly being victimized or marginalized by others, decide whether you want to stay and fight this situation, or move to a more congenial institution.
• Join an Academic Ladder Faculty Writing Coaching group.  We have telephone groups that meet weekly and will really support your progress.

Take a Step

Don’t waste another minute feeling lonely. If your lonely feelings have gotten so debilitating that you cannot take any of the steps suggested here, please seek help. For most people, it is possible to be proactive and stave off loneliness, just by making one or two connections to like-minded people.

Check out the Academic Ladder online Writing Clubs, for a cost-effective way to connect with others and get some writing done in the process!  End the loneliness, starting today.